Open Season: A Letter to Craig Finn

in: big words

Me & Craig Finn Down by the Pool Hall


The official video won’t embed properly. This is an excellent replacement.
(Edit: Eh. Just watch ’em both on the YouTubes.)

Yeah, Craig Finn!

Ready for our New Year’s Eve celebration? Debauchery and sing-a-longs, oh yeah. I spent a bit too much money on you this quarter, but you and The Hold Steady put on one of The Best Damn Shows I’ve Ever Seen. And what better way to ring in the New Year (and say good riddance to this mess of a year) than with three (edit: two + four = six. Thanks, Bebe) of my best friends?

Now that I’m writing this letter to you, I feel so nervous. I’ll enclose my photo and a box of those candy hearts, and I’ll have Jessie slip this to you after lunch. No? You’ve just got that voice. And the way you dance when you sing, all hands and facial expressions? I was so tempted to jump onstage beside you, grab the mic and belt out “Chips Ahoy.” It took every bit of restraint (and three burly best friends) to hold me back, but you should have seen me – dance-thrashin’ like a fucking hurricane. I think what I’m trying to say is, well, I like you. I like you a lot.

Not, you know, actually. You’re kind of old for me, and you’re not really my type.  But we’ve got so much in common. There’s that appreciation for literature. There’s our mutual fascination for the three amigos musicales: Schwarzenbach, Springsteen, Westerberg. I mean, sometimes I wonder if we’re not the same person. But then I remember that you’ve got that penchant for lyricism and a legion of rabid followers, and it occurs to me that we’re actually pretty different. I can still pretend, right?

Look, Craig. I’m clearly prattling on and on, but here’s the crux of the matter: Over the course of this year, you kind of saved me. This year was rough and cutthroat, but you got me through. I don’t mean to pander, but you’re The Dunce Cap Person of the Year. You don’t get a cool trophy or any sort of monetary prize, but you do get my adoration and a loud-mouthed, front-row-dweller.

Your psalms are sing-a-long songs. And the sing-a-longs will be our scriptures.

See you in two weeks, Craig’elles.

Love,
Coco, cheyenne sunrise/the girl you probably wrote “magazines” about/the girl with the dunce cap

P.S. Can you please play “Arms and Hearts” in Milwaukee? It would really make my night. Hell, if you played it as we count into 2011, it’d make two of my years.

P.P.S. You know, really, do whatever you think is best. You’re the songwriter, I’m just the critic. You’re the party pit, I’m sweat wet confetti.

P.P.P.S. I’m sorry for peppering this letter with all of your lyrics. It must be annoying.

P.P.P.P.S. Hope you still love me too.

 

A.V. Club: Winter Vacation, Day 2

in: the press, in: viewing room

Alanis Morissette's misheard lyrics via Buzzfeed

Readers (see: Dan, Jen), I’m back. Siriusly. And Chaucer’s sleepin’ on the couch, splayed out on two cushions all adorable, so I’m relegated to the floor. I’ll make this quick-ish. And, for the record, Chauce hates the sound of Neil Patrick Harris’s laugh. He balked a bit.

Some news of the day:

  • Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds  have called it quits! A second sad break-up in as many days.  [LA Times]
  • Andy Cohen asks Diane Von Furstenberg and Iman (David Bowie’s wife!) a rousing question: “Lady Gaga’s fashion: fabulous or fakakta?” [Bravo]
  • This is old news, but Tommy Lee is all up in arms over what? Lee wrote Sea World to complain about the fact that killer whale Tilikum continues to be used for his sperm. [Newser via The Frisky]

And today’s videos for sharin’:

Rudolllllllph. You don’t have to put on the red light.

This video had me in stitches. It’s a mash-up between The Police’s classic “Roxanne” and Christmas classic “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and brings me such joy. [The Daily What]

And all these oil spills? Hit the showers!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

The Arcade Fire guest star on a pretty humorous Saturday Night Live Digital Short from November 13. I love Andy Samberg. Rip your shirt wide open and danceeee.

 

A.V. Club: Winter Vacation

in: the press, in: viewing room

The Dunce Cap’s been on such a hiatus, but we’re back! So much to share.

I’m spending some quality time with Chaucer, so I’ll keep these fairly brief. But, if I can stick to the plan, I’ll be posting a couple of things every day for the entirety of vacation.

dumbdumb

Jason Bateman and Will Arnett started this ingenious comedy enterprise, dumbdumb productions, which creates and distributes hilarious web content. They began with a series of videos for Orbit Dirty Shorts, including this one.

Canine Arts n’ Crafts

Also a major winner.  This video for Best Friends Animal Society encourages you to adopt a pet this holiday season, and I think this particular tactic will really work. [The Daily What]

And in the News Flash! category, two big things a-happenin’.

Image from Disnology.com

First – Zanessa is dunzo! No more Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens lovin’. Sources (however unreliable) say the duo’s relationship has run its course. [LA Times] Maybe it was Zefron’s excellent new facial hair.

From a more reputable expert comes the following exchange:

C: “Efron. Single.”
D: “Efron. Gay.”

Lee's back in the Phillies uniform with R2C2

Second – Cliff Lee signs to the Phillies. Again. This makes the Phillies’ rotation as follows: Cliff Lee, Roy Halladay, Roy Oswalt, Cole Hamels. Which begs the question: WTF?! [ESPN]

And, for shits n’ giggles, I joined free dating site OKCupid!, so expect some fun anecdotes from that endeavor in the coming weeks. I am not using the website for its intended purpose. It’s amusing, y’know? It’s a sociological experiment of sorts.

The Dunce Cap: Nov. 29, 2010

in: heavy rotation

How cute! Young'ns.

 

The Dunce Cap, Vol. 27: And as she closed her eyes upon the world and picked upon the bones of last week’s news, she spoke his name out loud again. (click on link to listen to mix via 8tracks)

1. “Private Eyes” – The Bird and the Bee
2. “Sing Me Spanish Techno” – The New Pornographers
3. “This Time” – Marvelous 3
4. “Anything You Want” – Spoon
5. “Blood Bank” – Bon Iver
6. “Veronica” – Elvis Costello
7. “Knock Yourself Out” – Jon Brion
8. “Amie” – Damien Rice
9. “Smoke” – Ben Folds Five
10. “Somebody More Like You” – Nickel Creek

Well, muckluck. I’ve been a bad blogger all over again! But I brought you this excellent mix chocked full of songs to clean to, to cling to, to work to. Y’know, for all times. I’m pretty fond of it. Give it a (digital) spin.

Happy listening.