in: potent quotables

Back Talk: The New New Girl

in: potent quotables

“I like to move forward … I don’t know how much it would help for me to think about things too much. It just seems so fucking unfair. So I get on my elliptical machine and listen to some Rihanna and try to forget about this bullshit.” – Mindy Kaling on the death of her mother in New York magazine, Sept. 17, 2012

This should come as absolutely no surprise to anyone at all, but I adore Mindy Kaling. She is absolutely hysterical and so self-assured, and she’s an inspiration not merely as a woman or as an Indian but as a comedian and as an individual. If you haven’t yet, be sure to read her memoir, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns). She’s absolutely one of a kind and so, so high on my list of empowered females. She’s still writing for the last season of The Office, and she’s got her own television show (for which she’s showrunner, writer and star) on Fox, and the pilot alone boasts such big comedic names as Ed Helms and Bill Hader. She was the cover girl for last week’s issue of New York magazine, which may still be lingering on some newsstands, if you’re lucky. The profile is touching and sweet and hilarious, much like Kaling herself, and certainly worth a read.

And, embedded below for good measure, my favorite Kelly Kapoor moment from The Office.

Back Talk: Just Thinking ‘Bout Nothing

in: potent quotables

“What do rich people need and poor people have that is greater than God and, like, if you eat it, you die,” she asks.

I ponder the riddle a moment and admit, “I have no clue.”

“Nothing!”  she exclaims.

She is off in a tizzy just moments later, giddy with the thrill of stumping her older, arguably wiser babysitter. But her brother hangs around, kicking dirt, sheepishly staring at his feet as he half-skips, half-lopes toward the glass door of the office.

“It’s funny, y’know,” he mutters, searchingly, bemused, “You’re thinking about nothing, ’cause you don’t know what the answer is, but that’s the answer: nothing!” He pauses for a second, halting, considering the implications of his statement. And then, in a moment, wizened, he sagaciously muses –

“Did you know I spend half of my life thinking about nothing?”

I am bent at the waist, clutching my gut, bowled over by the hilarity of this statement. Six years old, a veritable wizard, and a reminder of all the good things in life.

That kid’s gonna take over the world.

Back Talk: Mary Oliver’s “The Ponds”

in: potent quotables

“Still, what I want in my life
is to be willing
to be dazzled —
to cast aside the weight of facts

and maybe even
to float a little
above this difficult world.
I want to believe I am looking

into the white fire of a great mystery.
I want to believe that the imperfections are nothing —
that the light is everything — that it is more than the sum
of each flawed blossom rising and fading. And I do.”

– Mary Oliver, “The Ponds” (House of Light)

I’ve a particular soft spot for Mary Oliver. She’s a true literary gem. One of my biggest influences, my high school English teacher, first introduced me to her, and, in writing about me for the Outstanding Senior portion of our yearbook, he quoted this very poem. He claimed the last few lines (“I want to believe…And I do.”) reminded him of me, and I like to believe he saw in me the unrelenting optimism I’m trying so hard to keep. That’s what I see in these Oliver stanzas – I want to see the beauty of life even as I weather the storm, and, perhaps, this can remind me.

And, as always, Oliver’s gorgeous reminder, the mantra I try so hard to repeat:

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?“

– Mary Oliver, “The Summer Day”
(The Truro Bear and Other Adventures: Poems and Essays)

Read her stuff – it’s rull, rull good.
Happy summer, y’all.

Back Talk: Justin Bieber gets philosophical

in: potent quotables

Two quotes from the Bieb came across The Dunce Cap radar. They’re two real winners!

Justin Bieber channels Bob Dylan while on tour

“Barbara Walters just came backstage earlier. I hit on her. Think she liked it.” – Pop sensation Justin Bieber via Twitter following his visit to the set of The View

Bieber has a sense of humor! Who knew? The Bieb’s Twitter is actually pretty hilarious. Like LeVar Burton’s or Shaq’s (“VERY QUOTATIOUS. I PERFORM RANDOM ACTS OF SHAQNESS”), Bieber’s tweets are pretty witty slices of daily life, documented in under 160 characters. The teen heartthrob revealed on The View that Walters was his kind of women. Millions of preteen girls wept.

Here’s another more recent gem from the Bieber cannon.

“I miss being a trending topic 😦 ” – Bieber via Twitter on not being among the most tweeted topics (though this was later revealed to allegedly be a practical joke by a friend – real sad face)

Keep it up, little man. I’m liking you more and more.

Back Talk: Bristol Palin makes mistakes

in: potent quotables

Levi, Bristol and brother Trig at the 2008 Republican National Convention

“Having sex has consequences, no matter how safe you are. If I could go back, I would have told myself that just because he’s good at sports and drives a cool truck, it’s meaningless — it’s pointless.” – Bristol Palin on her newfound abstinence at an event called “The Harsh Truth: Teen Moms Tell All.”

Oopsies, Bristol. Someone – probably Mommy‘s publicist – needs to script Bristol’s interviews. She just proved the sad inadequacy of abstinence programs in public schools – and the stupidity of teenage girls in rural America. Yuckfest x 1000.

Also, “Clearly, someone’s been doing the herbal” as Herbal Essence‘s new tagline? This seems like a poor choice, a la 1994.