I like to think I’m an interesting individual, and, in an effort to introduce me a bit more, I present five kind observations on the girl.

Observations 1-5:

I use too much toilet paper.

This ought to be self-explanatory, and any explanation further may be a bit too … graphic for publication on this site. But, seriously – I am a teepee sheet waster. I’m single-handedly destroying the environment. Whoops.

(editor’s note – this has nothing to do with any of my bathroom habits. it’s just a statement that I am a non-essential toilet paper consumer.)

I have a visceral reaction to art.

Particularly, it seems, television (and music, but television provides more concrete examples). “Bones” is perhaps the best example of this. I love and adore this T.V. series and each of its characters, and I appreciate the use of scientific evidence to solve crimes. More importantly, though, I am a ‘shipper. I watch, week in and week out, for the will-they-won’t-they romantic tension between primary characters Booth and Brennan. The most recent episode of the series, “The Parts in the Sum of the Whole,” aired April 8 and featured an earth shattering (and heartwrenching)  conclusion that left ‘shippers, like me, distressed.

I respond to the criminal aspect of the show in a normal manner, I expect, for the show’s audience. I, in fact, often find myself repulsed by the physicality of the program, but I respond in an intense but simplistic emotional manner. I want to give Booth and Bones their happily ever after more than I want them, even, to solve these homicide cases. Sure, it’s a lame and infantile way to approach the viewing of good primetime television, but I’m affected by “Bones” (and similar programs) viscerally.

I love commercials with dogs.

I become unnervingly giddy when a dog appears in a television commercial, or even in the 30 second ads before and during Hulu viewings. I’m sure it’s quite the sight for anyone located in the vicinity – I become like a small child, skirmish and highly excitable. Check out these neat videos of dogs being all adorable on the small screen!

Cesar Dog Food

Iams Dog Food

I still like television shows that “jumped the shark.”

I watch “Saturday Night Live” and “The Simpsons” – still.

“The Simpsons” is consistently funny to me, and there were two episodes in seasons 20 and 21 which I I highly recommend. “Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D’oh” and “The Greatest Story Ever D’ohed” are two remarkably hilarious episodes. “The Simpsons” may not fulfill the fantasies of the real-life culture arbiters (see: Comic Book Guy in reality),  but the series still brings me untold laughter.

And “Saturday Night Live” has hit its stride again in recent seasons with strong host-musical guest pairs. My favorites in this season include Joseph Gordon-Levitt/Dave Matthews Band; James Franco/Muse; Zach Galifianakis/Vampire Weekend; and, most recently, Tina Fey/Justin Bieber. Sure, there have been missteps (the awful Sigourney Weaver/Ting Tings and Taylor Lautner/Bon Jovi episodes truly stand out), but the series still has its funny sketches and talented cast members. There may be no Gildas or Belushis, but Samberg, Hader and Wiig are strong comedic forces.

For examples of humorous skits, watch “The Mellow Show” with host Joseph Gordon-Levitt and musical guest Dave Matthews (35.7), or check out this gem of script from boytoy musical guest Justin Bieber (35.18) in a sketch called “Teacher.”

Vodpod videos no longer available.
“Let us go, jump on my skateboard, eat some cake, oh… we’ll check out Filene’s and get chunky jewelry at Chico’s, I’ll buy you a panini and some Spanx to make you teeny…”

I’m nostalgic. For everything.

My Facebook profile photo is Stick Stickly. And I wrote a final paper last quarter on “Rocko’s Modern Life.” I also occasionally scour the Internet for quasi-dangerous Sky Dancers. So, yes. I’m nostalgic for my childhood and generations prior (“Chico and the Man” and “Charles in Charge”).

Keep checking in for more bizarre-o factoids on The Girl. Or not.