“Having sex has consequences, no matter how safe you are. If I could go back, I would have told myself that just because he’s good at sports and drives a cool truck, it’s meaningless — it’s pointless.” – Bristol Palin on her newfound abstinence at an event called “The Harsh Truth: Teen Moms Tell All.”

Oopsies, Bristol. Someone – probably Mommy‘s publicist – needs to script Bristol’s interviews. She just proved the sad inadequacy of abstinence programs in public schools – and the stupidity of teenage girls in rural America. Yuckfest x 1000.

Also, “Clearly, someone’s been doing the herbal” as Herbal Essence‘s new tagline? This seems like a poor choice, a la 1994.