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Dunce Flash: Week of Dec. 27, 2010

in: the press

“Natalie Portman Got Pregnant and Engaged to Crush Your Dreams”

Image from Gawker

Gawker gave the story the perfect headline, but I think NY Mag put it best:

“Natalie Portman: Doing everything all of a sudden! Not content simply to star in the indie smash Black Swan, pick up award after award on the way to the Oscars, circle movies like the Alien prequel, The Great Gatsby, and The Dark Knight Rises, sit terrified while Annette Bening issues queenly pronouncements in her basso profundo during an actors roundtable, co-write a screenplay described as a “female-themed Superbad,” appear in roughly 8 million billion movies next year including Thor, Your Highness, and No Strings Attached, and wear vegan shoes made special for her by Christian Dior … deep breath to recover … the 29-year-old actress has now announced her engagement to ballet choreographer Benjamin Millepied, who appeared opposite her in Black Swan. What’s more, Portman is pregnant, People has confirmed. It’s her turn now!” [New York Magazine]

That’s right – the gorgeous and terrifyingly talented Natalie Portman is expecting with her now fiancee, French ballet dancer Benjamin Millepied. Mazel tov, Nats. Breaking hearts all over the place!

And, for good measure, my favorite short-form Portman piece. “Natalie’s Rap,” from a 2007 Saturday Night Live Digital Short, is posted below. Frankly, this video reminds me – I’m not mourning Portman’s pending nuptials. It’s the fact that she’s no longer (supposedly) with Andy Samberg*that brings the tears.

*An unsubstantiated rumor from US Weekly in 2007 that I desperately wanted to be true.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

 

Hugh Hefner Engaged to Former Playmate

Image from The Village Voice

Snore. Who cares?

The 84-year-old Hefner proposed to 24-year-old Crystal Harris, Dec. 2009’s Playmate of the Month, on Christmas Eve. [The Village Voice]

I much prefer this hilariously gross rumor from 2007, pairing then-72-year-old Morgan Freeman with his 27-year-old stepgranddaughter. Heebie jeebies!

The A.V. Club Releases “Turds in the Caviar” List

The exceptional people at The A.V. Club composed this list, “The turd in the caviar: 24 songs that almost derail great albums.” At the top of the list was The Beatles’ abrasive “Revolution 9,” from The Beatles (a.k.a. The White Album). Also included: The Hold Steady‘s “Chillout Tent” from The Boys in Girls in America (“…The multiple-singer approach inadvertently makes “Chillout Tent” sound like the faux-Broadway stylings of Meat Loaf.”); Belle & Sebastian‘s “Electronic Renaissance” from Tigermilk; and Kanye West‘s “Drunk and Hot Girls” from Graduation (“West deliberately shifts from mildly funny to drunken asshole, singing badly the entire time.”)

I think it’s a pretty stellar list, though BaBe wishes to note his dissatisfaction with the inclusion of Bob Dylan’s “Rainy Day Women #12 & 35” from Blonde on Blonde. [The A.V. Club]

Does Buffy Think Dolphins are Just Gay Sharks?

Glee‘s Heather Morris – the devilishly inane cheerleader Brittany – is in talks to portray Buffy the Vampire Slayer in the Warner Brothers film adaptation (or remake? or follow-up? or something.) of the eponymous ’90s show. Morris is hilarious, and I think she’d be a killer slayer (heh. Pun intended.), but I just can’t imagine Buffy sans Joss Whedon. The Frisky compares Morris to Sarah Michelle Gellar, who portrayed Buffy for seven seasons in the television show, and Kristy Swanson, who originated the role in the 1992 film alongside the dreamy Luke Perry. [The Frisky]

Dunce Flash: Mikey Makes Good

in: the press

A portion of The Billboard Hot 100, July 13, 2010

In case you can’t quite read this, this little chart, courtesy of Billboard, puts Mike Posner‘s “Cooler Than Me” at #6. On the Billboard Hot 100. Nationwide. Nationwide. Can someone anyone please explain to me how this has occurred? Okay, look, I’ve gotten my shits n’ giggles dancing to a Posner live show. And I have listened to his mixtape (the first one especially) dozens upon dozens of times. And “Cooler Than Me” was and still is my favorite track from said mixtape. But, really? #6? It’s been on the charts 10 weeks, and I’ve heard the song in five states. And there was a blurb in Entertainment Weekly about the guy. How has this possibly happened? How did the underdog triumph?

Mike Posner

Now, don’t get me wrong. Posner’s talented. He released that first mixtape, “A Matter of Time,” from his dorm room at Duke when he was barely 21. He snagged a record deal and a degree, touring on the weekends (including a stint at Northwestern’s Dillo Day in May 2009). This summer, he played Bonnaroo and is slated to play every date on the Warped Tour (and, though a former Warped diehard myself, that’s not saying much), and he’s managed to make himself a household name on Top 40 radio.

But does he deserve it? I mean, there’s a lot to be said, surely, about whether or not the music on modern pop radio qualifies as “good” (and I, for the record, am in that pseudo-snobby camp that says it usually is not), but Posner doesn’t really seem to fit that mold. He’s catchy, certainly, with a certain kind of nerdiness that nearly passes as being cool. It’s the way he mixes his beats and throws down his rhymes, almost with hesitation, sheepish, uncertain. You know the Yahoo commercial currently airing with the extra-nerdy guy lip-synching to a poorly done quasi-rap song?
(editor’s note: forgive the author. that “poorly done quasi-rap song”? kanye. Yo Kanye, I’m really happy for you, I’ma let you finish, but Mike Posner has one of the best videos of all time!)

It reminds me of Posner every time.

I’ve embedded the original cut of Posner’s hit single, “Cooler Than Me” from his first mixtape, “A Matter of Time.”


Mike Posner, “Cooler Than Me” (A Matter of Time version)

What do you think?
Is Posner pretty fly for a white guy or just another white (c)rapper?

And a pretty insightful comment from Bebe:
who would have thought we’d see the day
when mike posner was at #6
and eminem is at #10

(editor’s note: jimmy brooks walked again. and made a killer – and wildly popular – album. i guess anything’s possible. cheers, posner.)