The Domestication of the Dunce Cap

on: tap, on: the girl

BRockTHE BEAR, who I’ll henceforth just call B, is a bit shy and a lot private, so I’ve been reluctant to go into too much detail on our relationship. I will say this—we’re as happy as clams. Chubby, couch-lounging clams in blissful cohabitation.

We’ve become the picture of domestic perfection, settling into an easy pattern of slow-cooked dinners and casual Netflix binge watching, and it’s a strangely unexpected lapse into adulthood. B’s become something of a culinary artist – his tuna burgers are absolute masterpieces – and I’ve become an amateur housewife, culling home decor and design suggestions from the likes of Real Simple and Bon Appetit to fashion a real home in our cozy apartment. I’ve got myself an apron now, a cute Anthropologie number with Scotties adorning it, and a matching pot holder too, and I like to imagine a not-so-far-off-future where I don it with matching heels and a choker of pearls.

Our life is an interesting snapshot into suburban young adulthood. We’re not quite grown yet—B’s still got a semester and change left in his physics program, and I’m still settling into a professional workplace—but we’re trying on adulthood for size. We live a good distance from the city proper, and, although it’s readily accessible by public transit, it’s a hassle we avoid more often than not. Instead, we frequent the joints in close proximity, including a great taqueria, a fancy pantsy hip bar, an acceptable sushi place and an absolutely delectable Jewish deli, and we spend the large majority of our evenings on the oversized sofa laying claim to roughly 67 percent of our apartment. It’s not entirely surprising, as I still work too much, holding on to my restaurant job in addition to my daytime magazine gig, and B is commuting to school three+ times a week. We’re easily exhausted and particularly lame, but I’m finding myself enamored with our lifestyle. It’s a pretty simple happiness, and it’s lending itself well to growing up right.

Speaking of growing up right—the picture above at left is an homage to a photo I discovered tucked in an album from B’s youth. In the original, he’s barely a toddler, all towheaded and spectacular, straddling a hippopotamus statue. The best part is his face: He’s mimicking the hippo, his mouth wide, his eyes closed tight and crinkling in the corners, a hypnotic roar audible even in the decades-old photograph. It is the cutest photo I have ever seen, ever, even in a digital sea of corgi dedication sites and carefully choreographed Suri Cruise fan sites. We celebrated our anniversary recently and paid a visit to Starved Rock State Park, and, at my behest, he reenacted the pose. The result is here, ripe for all sorts of mocking and d’awwing and Photoshopping.

The simple fact is that we’re happy. I’ve had my doubts with lasting happiness in the past, and it’s remarkable how much brighter life becomes when there’s someone true to spend it with. Without dedicating too much time as of late to writing for fun, I’ve yet to determine how this newfound domestication will impact my writing here. I think it’ll likely be a lot more Instagrammy—I’m sure y’all love filtered photos of food as much as I do—but not really, though I expect there’ll really be some shared recipes, some fashion tips from the truly unfashionable and more than a few desperate requests for home design advice. But I’m still me, so I’ll still fangirl over Pretty Little Liars and fawn over Jess Day’s exquisite wardrobe and conduct an in-depth analysis of Miley’s newest music video, and I’ll not lose my gentle cynicism. I’m just happy to report I’m happy.

As always, thanks for reading.
Happy (almost) weekend.

The Girl

A Modern Love Affair: Television Title Cards

in: fatuation

Oh herro der, readers!

Before I get started on this super-fun new feature, I want to follow-up on a song I mentioned in my last Dunce Cap post (and featured prominently in this week’s mix). I’ve been listening to Ben Kweller’s excellently catchy “Hospital Bed” pretty much on repeat, and I keep getting caught up in the chorus:

(boy) “You be Betty!”
(girl) “I’ll be Betty!”
(boy) “I’ll play Joe!”
(girl) “You play Joe!”

Okay, innocuous enough, right? A bit about pretending to be someone else, or perhaps a cute li’l reference to Paul Simon’s “You Can Call Me Al,” right? But that’s not what really strikes me.

Maybe I’ve been watching waaaay too much “Mad Men,” but every time I hear this song, all I hear is Kweller yelping,

(boy) “You be Betty!”
(girl) “I’ll be Betty!”
(boy) “I’ll play Joan!”
(girl) “You play Joan!”

and I love it. But, y’know, I don’t know which of the two to be on any given day. It’s like this: Betty gets to be married to Don Draper, the sexiest man with a false identity, well, ever, while Joan Holloway gets to be fucking Joan Holloway…and Roger Sterling and that (formerly Jewish) doctor with some fairly questionable jealous tendencies. Joan’s sultry and sharp in all the ways that Betty behaves as an immature dolt. So, yeah, you, the other in this song I’m belting out – you be Betty. I’ll definitely be Joan.

Okay, so, I’m debuting a new feature tonight called “A Modern Love Affair.” It’s a bit like the “No Brainer” series I did awhile back, which currently features a breezy piece on John Hodgman and an as-yet-unposted adoration column about Suri Cruise. It differs slightly in that it’s not about an individual. “No Brainer” pays tribute to a someone, while “Open Season” is an open letter to a person. “A Modern Love Affair” is about a something. And, boy, is it going to be fun.

Dunce Flash: Halloween, Shy Ronnie and Newsies

in: the press, in: viewing room

Happy Halloween, readers!

There’s so much to talk about today, of all days. It’s Halloween, first of all, the most splendid of teeth-rotting holidays! I’m thrilled. My costume? Suri Cruise! Last year, I went sans costume, and the year before I was Lady Stardust, and the year before that, I was Gilda Radner. I’m getting more and more clever and more and more obscure.

Google celebrated this Halloween with a five panel Google Doodle. The full thing is below and is totally excellent. It chronicles the ultimate Scooby Doo mystery – the search for a candy thief. Gotta love Google and Halloween.

Google Doodle, 10/31/2010

And, for good measure, a Halloween tune. Or, at least, a song called “Halloween.” It’s more about a party and about relationships and about a bout of sadness. And, I suppose, my Halloween weekend was full of heartache and sadness – and rollicking fun and acceptance and hilarity too – , so it seems rather appropriate. It’s too much to go into now, but this weekend, I hope, I’ll tackle The Third Year Thirty in a more concise manner.

Happy listening.


“Halloween,” Matt Pond PA

The return of Shy Ronnie

Perhaps my favorite SNL skit of the last year, “Shy Ronnie,” a digital short co-starring Rihanna and Andy Samberg, returned to Saturday Night Live this week in the Jon Hamm episode.

The sequel to the video takes place in a bank in a hold-up called “Ronnie and Clyde” and is seriously gut-clutchingly funny.

Check out the video to the sequel below or watch the original “Shy Ronnie” on Hulu.

Vodpod videos no longer available.
“Shy Ronnie,” Saturday Night Live

Seriously. “Shy Ronnie” brings me such joy.

In other news

– Never thought I’d say it, but poor Christine O’Donnell. Gawker, you’ve left me a journalist ashamed. [Gawker]

– Dear Marie Claire writer,

At our worst, we may all think it. But never in a million years would we write it.

Sincerely,
The Girl with the Dunce Cap [Marie Claire]

I’ve been meaning to say this for months – Matthew Gray Gubler, I love your new haircut. [Hell Yeah Matthew Gray Gubler]

The Dunce Cap: May 31, 2010

in: heavy rotation

Photo courtesy of super-creepy paparazzo

The Dunce Cap, Vol. 10: I command you to dance. It’s such a sweet sensation. (mix via 8tracks)

1. “July, July!” – The Decemberists
2. “Stole My Heart” – Little and Ashley
3. “Gone Daddy Gone” – Gnarls Barkley
4. “Good Vibrations” – Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch
5. “Airplanes” – Local Natives
6. “Home” – Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
7. “Map of the World” – Monsters of Folk
8. “Shiny Happy People” – R.E.M.
9. “Kiss” – Prince
10. “Girl” – Beck

Look at that little girl. Yes, it’s Suri Cruise, and yes, it’s already been established that I am kind of obsessed with her, but seriously. Just look at the joy captured on her face. So, sure, she’s cute, but why is she the new Maybelline maven of The Dunce Cap?

Well, frankly, I’m tired of my simple explanations that these mixes are brimming with happy songs, blah blah blah. I’m letting Suri say it instead. Try to look at that face without grinning. Really. I dare you. Triple dog dare.

This mix is fist-pumping (yuck) with hip-shaking, high-fiving tracks from artists like The Decemberists and Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch (so much yammering love about to happen in the coming days).  There’s a really great Violent Femmes cover from, of all people, Gnarls Barkley (Cee-Lo!) and my favorite Prince track ever. There’s even a reminder of home, a track from Athens’ own R.E.M.

So give it a whirl, and I hope your face lights up like Suri Cruise. And if you really do cheese that much, please send me photos.

Happy listening.